Saint James UCC of Hamburg, NY

Mark 14:12-26, Luke 18:18-23

Preached by Rev. Robert Matlack
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Most of us, if we were asked to sum up our lives this morning, would probably feel that we're doing a pretty good job. We'd acknowledge that we aren't perfect, and that's certainly true, but I suspect that we'd also feel that on the whole we don't do too bad a job. We come to church. We're involved in other activities. We care about our family and friends, and that caring is demonstrated in a variety of ways in our lives. Most of us feel relatively comfortable about who we are, and the way that we live. So, we don't take the time very often to stop and really probe how God might feel about our lives. We know how we feel, and that's good enough.

I suspect that many of the things that I've just said could be said about the first disciples as well. These were a group of pretty good people. They had left their homes and their families to follow Jesus, because they believed in Him. They spent three years traipsing around the countryside with Him, teaching, healing, listening and learning. The twelve were more or less the elite. Many others followed Jesus at different times. Perhaps some of them were there most of the time through the period of His ministry. But the twelve knew that they had been specially called by Jesus. Their teaching and training was more intense than what the others received, and Jesus had higher expectations of them. He had sent them out to different villages to teach and preach, and even gave them authority over evil spirits. They were to be the leaders of the church.

They had many reasons to be complacent about their lives. They had given up a great deal to follow Jesus, and they could feel good about that, for they had made very real sacrifices. On the whole they had done well. Yes, there were times when Jesus bawled them out. There were times when they just didn't want to believe what He was saying, but on the whole they were good followers. They did pretty much everything He asked, and their lives were dedicated to the ministry of Jesus'.

It was to these followers - to the best of His followers, on the night before He was to be crucified - the last night that He would spend with them, that Jesus says, "one of you will betray me".

Talk about a bombshell. The disciples were stunned, confused, and upset. This was the last thing in the world that they expected - one of them to betray Jesus? One off those who were closest to Him a betrayer? It was inconceivable, except that Jesus was the one who said that this would happen, and so they had to take it seriously.

How do you respond to something like that? They responded by asking Him one at a time, "Is it I?" Tell me, tell us, we need to know who could do this. "Is it I? Could it be me?"

It's a question that gripped them, just as Jesus meant it to. They were astonished and confused. They were upset at the very notion that Jesus would think this could be the case, and they desperately needed to know if it could be them. They were shaken out of their complacency, and pushed into a very personal examination of their lives. "Is it I? Is there any chance that I could do something like that? I don't want to? I can't imagine myself doing that under any circumstances. I try hard to be faithful, but what does Jesus know that I don't know. Is there any chance that it could be me?

Jesus pushed His disciples to struggle with those questions on His last evening with them. Now He probably pushed them to a similar kind of self-examination on many occasions, but the fact that He did it on their last evening together, strongly suggests that it's something we all should engage in. We too need to be shake out of our complacency to ask "Is it I? Was I there too? Am I the one to betray Jesus? Is there any chance that it could really be me?" When we ask those questions, when we see the possibility that it could be us, then our lives are changed. Our eyes are opened to see our own sinfulness in the ways that we betray Christ, and with that knowledge comes the possibility of change.

In our text from Luke a rich man approaches Jesus, one who was a leader of the Jewish faith, perhaps a member of the Sanhedrin or a leader of the synagogue. Anyway, he approached Jesus and asked, "what must I do to receive eternal life?"

Now he was a pretty complacent person. He had a prominent position and was well respected by others. He obviously felt pretty good about his life, and he had made a serious effort to be faithful. When Jesus talked to him about keeping the commandments, he replied, "ever since I was young, I have obeyed all these commandments." He had made what he thought was a very sincere and more than adequate effort to be faithful.

But Jesus told him that he needed to do one more thing - to go sell all that he had, give the money to the poor, and to come and follow Jesus. We're told that "when the man heard this, he became very sad, because he was very rich".

Jesus pushed him to examine his life in a way far deeper than he had in the past. At first look he seemed like a very faithful, dedicated Jew, who had committed his life to doing what God wanted him to do. However, Jesus knew him better than that. He saw to the heart of the matter. This man was comfortable being wealthy and respected as a leader of the Jews. Following the law was easy for him, in that it helped him to build this image of righteous living. Yes, ti could be hard work to follow all of the commandments, but he was amply rewarded with the respect and admiration of others.

What he was not willing to give up was his wealth, his comfort, his position. When Jesus asked that of him, he realized that that was more than he was willing to give, and that there were very definite limits on what he would do in the service of God. He was sad, because when he really looked at his life, he was not as righteous as he liked to think that he was. He was more concerned with his position and comfort than with serving God. Oh, he was willing to serve, but only as long as it didn't interfere with what he really wanted.

When Jesus pushed His disciples to look at their lives, what did they see? We can only guess that some saw that they weren't as righteous as they liked to think that they were, while others saw that they were more faithful than they gave themselves credit for being. The point is that each of us has to have those times in our lives where we're challenged to really look at ourselves, to honestly see ourselves as we are, as God sees us.

The point is not to put ourselves down or to build ourselves up. Rather, the point is to see ourselves as we genuinely are, to honestly evaluate our lives on the scale of our willingness to place God first in our lives. Are we willing to give all that God expects us to give and to do all that God wants us to do, or do we hold back?

Lent can be a time of reflection as we take a look and our faith, and seek to deepen our relationship with God. It's a time to openly and honestly look at our lives, just as Jesus pushed the disciples to look at theirs. It's a time to ask ourselves, just as they asked, "Is it I lord? Is it I who is willing to go wherever you lead? Or is it I who holds back when you ask more than I am prepared to give? Is it I who reaches out to others in love? Or is it I who thinks first of myself? What do you see God when you look at my life? When you said that one of us would betray You by their actions, Was it I, Lord?"

Amen.