Saint James UCC of Hamburg, NY

Ruth 1:1-21

Preached by Rev. Dr. Robert Matlack
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Anger is an emotion that we experience in a variety of contexts in our lives. Sometimes it springs up unexpectedly, when we're unprepared to admit that it's even there. Mamie McCullough shares this story: "One hot summer evening, I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. We were all hot and tired, the phone kept ringing, the door bell was forever chiming, the kids were noisy - it was not a pleasant time. Then Brian came into the kitchen and said, 'Mama, why are you mad?'

"'I'm not mad, Brian; take out the garbage,' I said as I continued to cook. He took out the garbage and came back in, 'Mama, why are you mad?' Brian, I am not mad - set the table.' He set the table; then...'Mama, why are you mad?'

I turned to him, looked down into his amazed face and said, 'Brian, why do you think I'm mad?' He looked up at me very seriously and said, 'Well, if you're not mad, you should notify your face.'"

Anger arises within us for many different reasons, by the specific form of anger that I will be focusing on today is anger that is a part of the process of grieving. If our first reaction to catastrophic news is, "No, it's not true, no, it cannot involve me," this gives way to a new reaction when it finally dawns on us: "Yes, it is me, it was not a mistake. Why me?"

I suspect that we all felt some of that this week with the shootings at Virginia Tech, and we've all felt that other times as well. Why Me? Why us? Why here and now?

Naomi had had a difficult life. When famine had struck Israel, Elimelech and his wife Naomi and their two sons moved to Moab. Now this move would not have been an easy one to make. Not only did they have to deal with a different language, with different customs and with leaving their families behind them, they also had to live in a country whose religion was very different from their own. When they moved to Moab, they left behind all of the secure foundations of their life.

Yet somehow, as they settled into Moab they found a new life and stayed for many years. Their sons grew older and then Elimelech died. Naomi's sons Mahlon and Chilion married Moabite girls and then after about ten years of marriage, we're told that Mahlon and Chilion also died and Naomi was left all alone.

Naomi had great reason to grieve. We're not told their ages or the causes of death, but to lose both your husband and your children is not today and was not then something which you might normally expect. Unless Elimelech was much older than Naomi, he probably died at a relatively young age - his sons were not yet full grown, not yet married.

While that tragedy would be difficult enough to bear. Death is a part of life, and eventually Naomi seems to have come to terms with her misfortune, only to have disaster strike again, even harder. Not one but both of her sons died. By accident or from disease, we do not know. All that we know is that Naomi's family has died, leaving her alone in a foreign land.

The lot of a widow is seldom easy, and back then it was usually extremely difficult. A husband was expected to care for his wife and family. When the husband died, then the responsibility fell upon the sons, which was one reason that having sons was so important in those cultures. After Elimelech died, Mahlon and Chilion cared for their mother. But when they died, no one was left to care for Naomi. Mahlon and Chilion's wives - Orpah and Ruth could go back to their families, and while the family members would not be excited about providing for them, they would accept it as their responsibility, hoping that they might quickly remarry and be taken off of their hands.

Naomi had no one. Her husband and sons had died. The rest of her family, such as it was, was back in Israel. Naomi found herself widowed in a foreign land, with no great financial resources of her own, no family to care for her, no pension or social security. She was a poor outsider, and while means would probably be found for her to get by, barely, she would never be accepted. Her status would always be the lowest of the low. Tragedy has struck her life a bitter blow. She has lost not only her sons, but all means of livelihood, all status and position. Life has become bitter indeed.

It is in that context that Naomi decides to return to Israel, her native land. If she is to be poor and without status, she might as well do that in a familiar culture, one that she claims as her own, where old friends and family are there, and might possibly be moved to help. Naomi chooses to live the rest of her life and to die in her native land, not in this foreign country.

When Naomi started back, Ruth and Orpah went with her. On the way she told them to go back and stay with their mothers. They each had families who would care for them. Israel was a foreign land for them. Thedy had never been there. It meant nothing to them. Moab was their home, and Naomi urged them to stay. Orpah turned back, but Ruth very movingly declares that she will go with Naomi, that she will not leave her, for Naomi is her family.

Ruth is the one bright spot in Naomi's life as she returns to Israel. She returns as a bitter, angry old woman, a woman who has lost everything except for Ruth.

Naomi's anger and bitterness are a normal part of the grieving process. They are feelings that are made stronger by the loss of her livelihood and home as well as her sons. When we hear this story, it's hard not to be moved by her grief, for she clearly has lost so much.

When someone we know and love is experiencing this kind of anger, this kind of grief, what they need the most are friends who will stand by them, who will not leave them all alone, even though they may be no fun to be with right then. Their grief and their pain are real, just as Naomi's was. Yet through it all Ruth stood by her.

She didn't need to. She had family of her own back in Moab, and presumably it was difficult for her to leave them and to leave her country. No matter how much she cared for Naomi, this could not have been easy for her to do. But Naomi had no one else. It's probably questionable whether or not she would even have survived the difficult trip to Israel if left on her own. Traveling was difficult for everyone in those days, but for an elderly widow traveling alone, a journey such as this was hazardous indeed. After all, Naomi had no great wealth to ride back to her homeland in style. She returned home, probably on foot, with those few possessions that she could bring.

Ruth willingly accepted the hazards of the journey and the difficult life of being two widows barely eking out an existence in Israel. Ruth worked hard and never complained. Through it all she loved and cared for Naomi, for she knew that Naomi needed someone to be there for her in the midst of her grief.

Ruth's own grief is never mentioned in the story. But think about it for a moment. She has lost her husband and brother-in-law, left her family and homeland behind, and has traveled to a strange country with her mother-in-law. Ruth has lost almost as much as Naomi, and her grief must be very real as well. Yet Ruth deals with her grief differently than Naomi.

There's an old Chinese tale about a woman whose only son died. In her grief she went to the holy man and said, "What magical incantations do you have that will bring my son back to life?"

Instead of sending her away or reasoning with her, he said, "Fetch me a mustard seed from a home that has never known sorrow. We will use it to drive the sorrow out of your life." The woman set out at once in search of the magical seed.

She came first to a splendid mansion, knocked at the door, and said, "I am seeking a home that has never known sadness. Is this the place?" They told her, "You have come to the wrong place," and began to describe all the tragic things that had befallen them. The woman said to herself, "Who is more able to help these poor people than myself, who has also known great sorrow?"

She stayed on and comforted them, then went on in search for a home that had never known sorrow. But wherever she turned, in hovels and in palaces, she found one tale after another of sadness and misfortune. She became so involved in ministering to other people's grief she forgot about her quest for the magical seed, never realizing it had in fact driven the sorrow out of her life.

That's how Ruth dealt with her own sorrow. She spent her time and energy caring for Naomi in her grief and her anger, and in the process she drove the sorrow out of her life.

In the midst of grief and of anger, having someone walk with us, knowing that someone cares and will not abandon us, is the strongest possible reminder that God loves us and walks with us through all that we face. Ruth was an expression of God's love in the life of Naomi, just as each of us somewhere, sometime, will have the opportunity to share the Good News of Christ's love by walking with someone we care about through their time of grief and anguish.

When someone we love hurts inside. When they lash out in anger and ask, "why me". Don't turn from them because they are no fun to be with. Rather, remember the example of Ruth, and embrace the opportunity to be an expression of Christ's love in the life of someone you care about.

Amen